Potato Wedges alla Eggplant, anyone? So, today I made potato wedges, since I'm poor and I have potatoes. The recipe is simple. SIMPLE! You get four russet or baking potatoes, then rinse them. chop them into quarters, and cut the quarters into halves. So, you cut the potatoes into eights, because I am a math genius. Then, towel them down with a store-brand paper product, to get rid of the moisture, since I like my wedges crispy. Like so: Then, suggestively rub your potatoes with oil. I used olive oil, because I have olive oil. Then season them, please. Please. I beg you. Use a billion pounds of salt, because potatoes need salt. And use whatever spices you have. I had white pepper, garlic powder, and balsamic vinegar. Which can season anything and make it happy. Like, put balsamic vinegar near anything, and if that food product were living, it would totally make an awkward pass for your number. Then, put them on a 1000 year old sheet pan and plop them in a 450 degree oven for 20 minutes. The aroma of garlic will float you back over to the oven. While you're there, take the pan out, move the potatoes around, and throw them back in for another 20-25 minutes. Do it roughly. Potatoes like to be mistreated. Like em crispy? After that, broil them for five minutes. It'll make you happier, and your neighbors will break down your doors for MOAR WEDGES. Put them on a plate, like so: Season them some more! I used eye-talian seasoning, because I still have some. I didn't use parsley. I was going to, but I didn't. Fuck it. Then, enjoy. If you like condiments, you can buy some. I don't have any, but they're great plain. Promise.
Easy Potato Chips? Hell, yes. So, today, I bought some Idaho potatoes. I decided to skip the whole "baking" thing and went into the arms of my one true love: frying. Nothing makes Idaho potatoes happier than being fried. It's true. Ask a potato. They will tell you that they like being baked or mashed. Some of the little sociopaths enjoy being grilled. But they all love being fried. Here's what you do, to make them happy. Get two medium/large potatoes. Unless you're me, then you can get one large one, and one small one. It doesn't matter. Or get five large ones if you're hungry, or having friends over. And slice them as thin as hell. Assuming hell happens to be thin, that is. Slice one thick? Don't worry. It'll still be delicious. PROTIP: slice a little off the bottoms for potato stability, because nothing makes the Band-Aid people happier than unstable potatoes. Ask my mama. Then, grab your assorted Favorite Spices. Mine include salt (which is a mineral, not a spice, but feh), garlic powder, and generic cajun seasoning. Yours could include REAL cajun seasoning, Old Bay seasoning (from the time you made fish 50 years ago), or, dare I say it, Italian seasoning. Lay your potatoes on a surface, such as, say, a yellow cutting board, and season them liberally. Not conservatively, as you don't want your potatoes going to town hall meetings. They're much more delicious fried in oil, thank you.