Negotiating with cell phone companies?

Negotiating with cell phone companies?

Does anybody have any experience haggling with a cell phone company. I've established that all the companies offer pretty much the same deal in terms of minutes. I want to walk out of the store with a truly 'free'* cell phone in exchange for signing up with them or a better deal on price. Any pointers? Free to me means no rebate.
Flower Id’s?

Flower Id’s?

What’s wrong with my gardenia?

What’s wrong with my gardenia?

Crocuses!

Crocuses!

the rest

the rest

I just moved to my current house

I just moved to my current house

another ID pls. hehe

another ID pls. hehe