So we could use some comedic relief, right?
I work at a garden center, and as in any place that serves the public, we get some weirdos. I think that as a gardening community, you all will enjoy this one particularly well. An old woman, maybe late 60's, came in with her ailing husband, who had tubes in his nose and didn't talk the whole time. She was carrying a tera cotta pot saucer covered in aluminum foil, and she asked me if she could get something identified. We invite people to bring in samples of problem plants or of weeds that they want eradicated to talk to a few of our staff who are proficient in identifying and fixing such problems, and as I'm not one of those few staff, I went to get my manager Dave. Dave comes to the registers, and the woman launches into a dramatic explanation about how all of her plants are dying. Her geranium hanging baskets, her potted plants, her flower beds, everything. She raves about how she goes to bed at night, and when she's asleep, her neighbor comes and puts something in all of her plants, and when she wakes up, they're all dying. Her tomatoes, though, are doing great, which she attributes to her neighbor's love of tomatoes. Her explanation goes on far longer than I can express to you in this paragraph. Use your imagination. She finally peels back the aluminum foil and reveals the mystery substance which her neighbor is using to slaughter all of her beautiful plants... And it's perlite. You know, the little white things that retain moisture that are commonly found in potting soil mixtures and the like. Great.